I can’t see anything….

Die, diet! Die! I’ve been trying to hide this from you. I didn’t want to share. But, I have a confession to make: I am on a diet.

The ultimate foodie betrayal, a diet is the enemy. Food is expression, adventure, diets are boring. Completely uninspired, diets are like noses – everyone has one.¬† I won’t go into the pathetic, disturbing elements of this particular diet, but I will tell you, the worst of it isn’t the calorie¬† restrictions, its that it has completely blocked my ability to communicate, since I communicate through food. I might as well be walking around with a piece of duck across my eyes, mouth and nose for how cut-off from the world I feel.I am in the Guantanamo Bay of diets-on a foodie island.

Some people express themselves through painting. Some through scrap booking. Me? I express myself, my love and my mood through cooking..and then writing about the food I experienced, and the experience of the food. Its why you should never trust a skinny food critic – if they are skinny, they either aren’t enjoying ANY food or they don’t love it enough. My experience with food has a direct effect on my soul and my spirit; it isn’t just eating it, its the shopping, the cutting, the cooking, that I enjoy.¬† So without the nightly adventure of dinner, I feel more than a little discombobulated…actually, I feel like a bobble head.

It isn’t that I can’t control my eating, unbelievably, I can. Typically, I don’t CHOOSE to, but when necessary, I can. We eat pretty healthy at our house, we use natural, unprocessed foods, we eat lots of fruits and veggies. All of this makes me all the more bitter about the need for a diet, but over the last year, my weight has been on a run away freight train that landed squarely on my butt. Much like the Jello song (watch it wiggle, see it jiggle….) a rear-end of this size can not be allowed to survive. Don’t worry about me starving myself…I have plenty of extra layers to get me through the winter.

I know you’ve been there. I know you feel the agony. You know, you reach for your favorite spice and BOOM, you have to skip it because of the sugar. You know peanut oil is JUST the thing, but you use olive oil instead. It really isn’t much fun and worst of all, it leaves little room for creativity. Utility eating just isn’t for me; actually, I don’t recommend it for anyone. Life is too short, shouldn’t we enjoy our meals?

So if I seem a little distant. A little out of sorts. You know why. I apologize. I’ll be back to my regular food-loving, recipe desecrating, snarky self soon.

Until then, I live vicariously through your blogs, your recipes, your experiences.

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About Tara DeWitt Coomans

An aspiring cook and an accomplished eater, Tara is inspired by the world around her and the food on her plate. "When you can't jump on a plane and take a vacation to an exotic destination, chances are you can whip up a dish or go to a restaurant that will take you there." says Tara. She often eats out at a restaurant after trying to accomplish a given dish at home. None the less, she enjoys food and what it says about the human experience. Tara is a full-time freelance writer and blogger. She specializes in writing about food, cooking and travel. You can find her in the kitchen, on the plane or at her computer.